The time when I touched down from Labuan, we received a really saddening news..QZ 8501 has lost contact with the ATC when they were heading from Surabaya to Singapore..the moment I got to know about it I was thinking to myself, what if it happens to me? I will never get to see my dad and my boyfriend anymore..I just wanna let him how much I love him and afraid of losing him..I am gonna cherish every single moment I spend with them because no one knows what's gonna happen the next day..
Yesterday was a history,
Today is a gift,
Tommorow is a mystery~
Sunday, December 28, 2014
Saturday, December 27, 2014
So much doubts
I've never doubted him so much..things changes the time when he was back from his company team building..I trust him so much that it doesn't bothers me if he wants to hang out with any of his girl friends not until he met his new colleagues..I feel so distant from him..he never treat me the same way like he used to..I know I'm over sensitive at times but I'm going through this and I can feel it..I start having doubts in him which I never had before...
If you wanna have a good and healthy relationship, never have doubts in your other half..and what disappoint me the most was he never assure me about how significant still I'm to him..instead treating me the way I'm not at all happy and my doubts just grow stronger every day. Girls are not complicated after all..all we need is giving your all to us, assuring that we are the only one you love, nothing else more important us, and never let us doubt you!..
If you wanna have a good and healthy relationship, never have doubts in your other half..and what disappoint me the most was he never assure me about how significant still I'm to him..instead treating me the way I'm not at all happy and my doubts just grow stronger every day. Girls are not complicated after all..all we need is giving your all to us, assuring that we are the only one you love, nothing else more important us, and never let us doubt you!..
Wide awake~
I was once awake from a nightmare, and now I'm waking up from a dream..a dream that was so sweet that it hits me so hard and I've no words to describe how I feel..I was treated like a princess and was showered with so much love, but it was just a dream..gravity hurts indeed..
Girls always get called being selfish because we don't understand what a guy wants and needs..but everyone in the universe knows how sensitive can a girl be, so why can't the guys try to understand our sensitivity..aren't they being selfish too??..
I was once in a position where I feel like an option until I met my soulmate (which I thought he was)..and now I'm in the very same position again..I never wanna go through the same shit again..when they have no one they can give you all the time they have in the world..once they found someone you'll be push aside..isn't that selfish??..I might be selfish myself for limiting his time with his friends but I did the same to myself! In life, not all sacrifices will be appreciated..sometimes doing all these sacrifices will get us called as selfish..they will never understand how you feel when your friends know that you only make time for them when your other half is buzy with his things/friend......
Girls always get called being selfish because we don't understand what a guy wants and needs..but everyone in the universe knows how sensitive can a girl be, so why can't the guys try to understand our sensitivity..aren't they being selfish too??..
I was once in a position where I feel like an option until I met my soulmate (which I thought he was)..and now I'm in the very same position again..I never wanna go through the same shit again..when they have no one they can give you all the time they have in the world..once they found someone you'll be push aside..isn't that selfish??..I might be selfish myself for limiting his time with his friends but I did the same to myself! In life, not all sacrifices will be appreciated..sometimes doing all these sacrifices will get us called as selfish..they will never understand how you feel when your friends know that you only make time for them when your other half is buzy with his things/friend......
Friday, December 26, 2014
Not the same anymore~
I am blogging again after God knows how many thousand years I've stop doing this..just feel like letting it out here as I don't know who to turn to..it's really common to have arguments in a relationship..I'm in a relationship and I do argue with him but most of the times we will get back together and things will resume like usual..the happy happy loving loving couple..
Last two weeks I had a huge argument with him cause I felt left out as he has to go Langkawi for team building..two days for that and when he was back he had conference and the day after he had annual dinner..so I'll be all alone for days..not that I wanna complain but just think at my point of view..I'm always with him like 24/7 and to me he's my world and my everything! I ditch most of my friends cause I wanna spend times with him..but things changes after the night he went to karaoke with his colleagues right after his annual dinner..what's more interesting was he met 2 new close friends and it seems to me that they are so important to him..not to mention one of them is a girl..I know I might be thinking too much but sometimes a girl's six sense can be right..I can tell that he does have a little special feelings for her..he seems defensive over her without him realizing..
I am guessing they could have something if she doesn't have a boyfriend and she's not coming from other state..of course if he's also single..he might not realize this but whenever I said something bout them he starts getting all so defensive and the tone! He never spoke to me like that until he met them..he's indeed a very responsible guy and I know he doesn't likes to be call the bad guy..so even if we are not in a very good condition now or he might or might not have feelings for this other girl he'll never call this relationship off..but it's really no point keeping it if we are both not happy..and I don't know if he feels good treating me so cold..cause my feelings are gradually going off..we will eventually be apart even if we never call it off..I opened up to him (he always asked me to) but he seems to have something in his mind that he didn't wanna let me know..it takes two to tango right??..
He's just so different now..the way he talks to me, the way he treats me just different..maybe we are just not meant to be..I don't wanna be in denial..wasting both our times when I'm sure he will find someone who can makes him happy cause he always wanted to be happy..but happiness come within ourselves and depending on how u handle your life..if he doesn't feel happy with me he should just call it off..cause I can see that he's really not happy the time when we were together after the arguments..I really don't want my significant one to treat me this way..it's just not right..I don't feel the love from him anymore..let's just wait for the time to come..anyways, life goes on..guess I'll be moving on with my second plan perhaps? =)
Last two weeks I had a huge argument with him cause I felt left out as he has to go Langkawi for team building..two days for that and when he was back he had conference and the day after he had annual dinner..so I'll be all alone for days..not that I wanna complain but just think at my point of view..I'm always with him like 24/7 and to me he's my world and my everything! I ditch most of my friends cause I wanna spend times with him..but things changes after the night he went to karaoke with his colleagues right after his annual dinner..what's more interesting was he met 2 new close friends and it seems to me that they are so important to him..not to mention one of them is a girl..I know I might be thinking too much but sometimes a girl's six sense can be right..I can tell that he does have a little special feelings for her..he seems defensive over her without him realizing..
I am guessing they could have something if she doesn't have a boyfriend and she's not coming from other state..of course if he's also single..he might not realize this but whenever I said something bout them he starts getting all so defensive and the tone! He never spoke to me like that until he met them..he's indeed a very responsible guy and I know he doesn't likes to be call the bad guy..so even if we are not in a very good condition now or he might or might not have feelings for this other girl he'll never call this relationship off..but it's really no point keeping it if we are both not happy..and I don't know if he feels good treating me so cold..cause my feelings are gradually going off..we will eventually be apart even if we never call it off..I opened up to him (he always asked me to) but he seems to have something in his mind that he didn't wanna let me know..it takes two to tango right??..
He's just so different now..the way he talks to me, the way he treats me just different..maybe we are just not meant to be..I don't wanna be in denial..wasting both our times when I'm sure he will find someone who can makes him happy cause he always wanted to be happy..but happiness come within ourselves and depending on how u handle your life..if he doesn't feel happy with me he should just call it off..cause I can see that he's really not happy the time when we were together after the arguments..I really don't want my significant one to treat me this way..it's just not right..I don't feel the love from him anymore..let's just wait for the time to come..anyways, life goes on..guess I'll be moving on with my second plan perhaps? =)
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