i was brought into this world with no reason.....

After living in this world for 20 years, i start to realize that life is meaningless. We do the same old routine everyday and not knowing what's the purpose of doing it. So what's the real purpose of us living in this world? I used to agree with the sentence "yesterday was a history, today is a gift and tomorrow is a mystery" but for now i think it's a BULLSHIT!. There is no gift or mystery, it's all bullshit, crap, a lie and it's a stupid term to so-called make the idiots feel better. I've seen the ugly side of the world and it's fill with hideous lie and people.

I've brought up in a disastrous family. Living with sadness and hatred that make me never understand the meaning of love. Why can't i have a loving and happy family? Am i not deserve to get what everybody is having? I believe that 2 people get together because of the word love but i don't understand why idiots want to build their own home that they don't even love, not committed and not willing to sacrifice for it. I know that everyone have their own family problems but how often does a quarel happen? Well, mine happen everyday, everyday without FAIL!. I am so sick and tired of them repeating the same thing and telling how much they hate each other for 20 years. It's not easy to live with a problematic mother and a home that's like hell to me. I've tried to be very positive and think of every possible way to be happy, unfortunately i can't.

My life is fucked up and i'll try very hard to screw up with the rest of my life like what my parents wish to do on me and my siblings from the day we were born. And yes, we'll be one BIG FUCKED UP FAMILY!, "how sweet". Definitely will live SUCKINGLY EVER AFTER!.

Now you see how ugly can the world be. So what if you're the prettiest girl in the universe, the richest person in the whole wide world and being the smartest ass in the entire world, you'll still die like any other people and yes you'll definitely get to keep all this with yourselves in the coffin where you'll be burried together with worms and maggots. We all live and die, it's just the matter of time. Vanity doesn't last for goodness sack, you'll grow old and become the ugliest granny ever!. I feel pity for those girls who love to compare and boasting around with what they don't have. C'mon, it's time for us to learn how to keep things to ourselves. Yes, the world know you are beautiful on the outside, you don't have to show that bitchie look on your face. Outer beauty may be the only thing you have but that's alright because i always know that we're living in a hideous and ugly world just like the inner you!.

I know i don't have the right to end my life but did anyone ask me if i even want to be here, be here with a disaster family, here in this stupid world? Nobody ask me for my permission before bringing me here, i never said that i want to be here because i would never want to start my fucked up life in this fucked up world. But yet i was brought into this universe and stuck in this ugly and hideous world. There will never be a happiest day in my life. So what's life all about?