A letter to him..

Dear you,

     Just want to let you know that I have so much faith and hope in our relationship..you've made me believe in love once again but not until what you've done to me..I have completely lost trust and faith in you but hoping that you can try to regain it again but you are just too impatient..one thing that I really don't understand, what's with you saying that I am using you? What is it that you have for me to use? If I were to use you I will not leave you until I've spend all your money..if I want to, I will not even be with you for these 2 years but to find some rich men..

     I will not say that I've wasted these 2 years with you because what I felt was truly love..but it was really sad for me to know that what u felt was just a waste of time and money..at least I know to you I'm just a waste of time and money..not sure if you're aware that you've been really harsh towards me during our arguments..you can be disrespectful to me but not to my family especially my late mom..I respect your family and I will not mention them in our arguments..I'm just so disappointed with what you've said about my late mom..just so you know that she does likes you and happy that I was with you but what you've said about her was just too much..

     I know you don't realize how much of "me" in our arguments..all you think of is just yourself..I was speeding home every time I'm back from flight just to see you..you were all I thought of during my entire flight..so longing to see you and hug you..though we argue, I still hope to see you yesterday night..hoping that you'll try to talk things out nicely with me, instead you started to be really harsh towards me..you know me but you don't know me well..things could have been different if you could have started off talking to me nicely..I was waiting at my living room hoping that things will turn out fine..I know you've been working really hard but I too was flying for almost 12hours..you really don't have to over react for what you called lame joke..

     Even though I know you'll never wish me the best and you might think that I'll never find any guys who are better than you, I'll still sincerely pray that you'll one day find a girl who you'll love with all your heart and love her as much as u love yourself..I've learned what's love is really all about..if you are not ready to give in and love the other half just as much as loving yourself then don't fall in love..well I might not find any better guy than you but at least I've learned to love myself more..if you were to ask me what I really want past 2 months, let me tell you is to spend the rest of my life with you but if u were to ask me again now ,I just wanna be alone and best is to not keep in touch with you..our memories are more than enough for me..love is indeed an illusion..

                 
                  EVERY WORD THAT WAS SAID CAN NEVER BE TAKEN BACK~

Not the same...

     Things are just different, feelings are not the same like before...we hardly kiss and hug like how we used to do..frankly speaking, I still feel he has a little bit of something for her but I hope I am wrong..he doesn't hold me nor open the car door for me anymore..is this normal for couples who just got back together after arguments..or is it there's something that he's hiding from me?

     I really missed the time when we use to be so crazy..how we always make fun of each other and knowing how much we love each other..I do believe that you can't keep two person in your heart..you'll definitely not gonna give your 100% to your partner because you have someone else in your heart..in that case it's really ok point being together and planning future together..sigh~

#3

     Now I'm still doubting if he wants us back, if he wants to get me back..if he really loves me...he's just not showing any effort..I'm starting to feel frustrated and eventually get tired of it..just make me feel like moving on..not knowing that I'm super paranoid that I dreamt about him calling her infront of me..he's making me feel that they are still in contact personally and maybe started to get even more intimate in their conversations..I don't know and I don't wanna think about it..let's see if I get into other airlines..I'll just leave behind all the sad memories and start a new life on my own..*fingers cross*

#2

     Giving him another chance even though knowing that he had feelings for another girl is just so not my principle..I've always tell myself that if a man ever changed his mind or heart I'll never wanna fight back for him..because it's just not worth it and it's definitely gonna happen again..I don't know what I'm doing is right but I just know that I'm stupid..

     It's like I've got stabbed right through my heart even when u pull out the knife the scar will still be there..should I just wait and see if he really wanted this and prove himself to me that he'll treat me right? That he's still the one for me?..

     I know even if I ever accept him back I'll never trust him anymore..I'll not have faith in him again and love like before..and I'll just wonder if he would ever try his level beat to regain my trust and faith..or will he repeat the same mistakes again..God please show me the right path..I'm really lost now..

#1

     After all the ups and downs we've finally decided to moved on..it was really hard for me to let go but I'll have to..it's just not right when he has someone else in his mind and yet continue this relationship..

     I never believe in promises and marriage until I met him..I can't believe after all we've been through he just let me down..I was hurt again and again..he promised that he'll stop texting her but he still did..knowing it'll jeopardize our relationship yet he's doing it..maybe she's really that important to him that he can't stop himself from drawing closer to her..I asked myself over and over again why does he have to lie? Why is he doing this? What I did to deserve this?..

     If he really loves me he will never fall for another girl..if he loves me he will not try to get closer to her knowing that we can mend things..but he just did...he knows clearly that if he continues texting her everyday their feelings will get deeper and deeper..he knows and that's what he wants.so devastated..he just changed his mind and heart that fast..

     I told him bout my ex, bout how he treated me and neglect me..and he said he'll never do that to me but he did and even worst trying to build special feelings with this other girl..but I'll move on and be strong because I know that I'll have to go through this and walk this road alone..hoping to forget about him and our memories more everyday..

Choices?

     Emirates interview coming soon!! Never thought of going to any other airlines, instead was planning to quit and spend it with my special one but now that I don't have a special one..it's time for me to plan my future life alone..just that I'm contemplating whether to go so far and leave my dad behind..there nothing here in Malaysia that makes me feel worth staying for, only my dad..sigh..let's see what's God plan for me.. =)

Let's cherish the moment

     The time when I touched down from Labuan, we received a really saddening news..QZ 8501 has lost contact with the ATC when they were heading from Surabaya to Singapore..the moment I got to know about it I was thinking to myself, what if it happens to me? I will never get to see my dad and my boyfriend anymore..I just wanna let him how much I love him and afraid of losing him..I am gonna cherish every single moment I spend with them because no one knows what's gonna happen the next day..

Yesterday was a history,
Today is a gift,
Tommorow is a mystery~

So much doubts

     I've never doubted him so much..things changes the time when he was back from his company team building..I trust him so much that it doesn't bothers me if he wants to hang out with any of his girl friends  not until he met his new colleagues..I feel so distant from him..he never treat me the same way like he used to..I know I'm over sensitive at times but I'm going through this and I can feel it..I start having doubts in him which I never had before...

     If you wanna have a good and healthy relationship, never have doubts in your other half..and what disappoint me the most was he never assure me about how significant still I'm to him..instead treating me the way I'm not at all happy and my doubts just grow stronger every day. Girls are not complicated after all..all we need is giving your all to us, assuring that we are the only one you love, nothing else more important us, and never let us doubt you!..

Wide awake~

     I was once awake from a nightmare, and now I'm waking up from a dream..a dream that was so sweet that it hits me so hard and I've no words to describe how I feel..I was treated like a princess and was showered with so much love, but it was just a dream..gravity hurts indeed..

     Girls always get called being selfish because we don't understand what a guy wants and needs..but everyone in the universe knows how sensitive can a girl be, so why can't the guys try to understand our sensitivity..aren't they being selfish too??..

     I was once in a position where I feel like an option until I met my soulmate (which I thought he was)..and now I'm in the very same position again..I never wanna go through the same shit again..when they have no one they can give you all the time they have in the world..once they found someone you'll be push aside..isn't that selfish??..I might be selfish myself for limiting his time with his friends but I did the same to myself! In life, not all sacrifices will be appreciated..sometimes doing all these sacrifices will get us called as selfish..they will never understand how you feel when your friends know that you only make time for them when your other half is buzy with his things/friend......

Not the same anymore~

     I am blogging again after God knows how many thousand years I've stop doing this..just feel like letting it out here as I don't know who to turn to..it's really common to have arguments in a relationship..I'm in a relationship and I do argue with him but most of the times we will get back together and things will resume like usual..the happy happy loving loving couple..

     Last two weeks I had a huge argument with him cause I felt left out as he has to go Langkawi for team building..two days for that and when he was back he had conference and the day after he had annual dinner..so I'll be all alone for days..not that I wanna complain but just think at my point of view..I'm always with him like 24/7 and to me he's my world and my everything! I ditch most of my friends cause I wanna spend times with him..but things changes after the night he went to karaoke with his colleagues right after his annual dinner..what's more interesting was he met 2 new close friends and it seems to me that they are so important to him..not to mention one of them is a girl..I know I might be thinking too much but sometimes a girl's six sense can be right..I can tell that he does have a little special feelings for her..he seems defensive over her without him realizing..

     I am guessing they could have something if she doesn't have a boyfriend and she's not coming from other state..of course if he's also single..he might not realize this but whenever I said something bout them he starts getting all so defensive and the tone! He never spoke to me like that until he met them..he's indeed a very responsible guy and I know he doesn't likes to be call the bad guy..so even if we are not in a very good condition now or he might or might not have feelings for this other girl he'll never call this relationship off..but it's really no point keeping it if we are both not happy..and I don't know if he feels good treating me so cold..cause my feelings are gradually going off..we will eventually be apart even if we never call it off..I opened up to him (he always asked me to) but he seems to have something in his mind that he didn't wanna let me know..it takes two to tango right??..
 
     He's just so different now..the way he talks to me, the way he treats me just different..maybe we are just not meant to be..I don't wanna be in denial..wasting both our times when I'm sure he will find someone who can makes him happy cause he always wanted to be happy..but happiness come within ourselves and depending on how u handle your life..if he doesn't feel happy with me he should just call it off..cause I can see that he's really not happy the time when we were together after the arguments..I really don't want my significant one to treat me this way..it's just not right..I don't feel the love from him anymore..let's just wait for the time to come..anyways, life goes on..guess I'll be moving on with my second plan perhaps? =)

A rebound or true love?

How can someone fall in love so fast again when they just broke off?? A rebound or true love? I just broke off with my 7 years boyfriend few months back..I've always thought that he would be the one for me..my first and definitely my last..but we can never predict the future..I was so sure about our future until our fifth year..he was never a reliable boyfriend nor a caring one..I always believe that if I put in more effort and give in more in the relationship, one day he'll realize..well, guess I am wrong..anyways, I have moved on, not forgetting about him but he's definitely not someone important to me anymore cause I've found someone who's worth loving..
  Of course at one point I was really disappointed and I thought I could never love again..not until I met him, my current boyfie ~<3 br="">I met him in an accident, or should I say by accident?? anyways, it was funny how we met and we still laugh about it until now..he never fails to put a smile on my face and he taught me how to fall in love again..fairy tales do not happen all the time..his past relationship has not only been haunting him but me as well..

He ended his 7 years relationship and got together with me after about 2 weeks..things happen really fast and I can't catch up at times..he always asked me to help him in forgetting his past and forgetting about her..but how am I suppose to do that when he was the one constantly thinking about it..it sounded so much like I am a rebound..forgetting is not by the help of others, not by avoiding..no one can help us doing that but ourselves..

Sometimes I feel that he's not ready for another relationship..if he is he won't mind me mentioning about her nor asking him about her..he told me that he moved on which I was not convinced..she seems to have such big impact on him and it kills me so much every time when I talked about her and he seem to be still so in love with her..he might not realize but I can tell..I don't wanna hold on to something that doesn't belongs to me..he's hurting himself and he's hurting me even more..
SOMETIMES I WISH YOU WERE IN MY PLACE JUST TO KNOW HOW I FEEL~

Growing up was never easy

Sometimes I just wish I never grow up..being the little girl who doesn't need to care about anything at all and taking things for granted..as I grow older I feel like I've no time for anything at all..everything just come to me at once..so much to do, so much to think and things doesn't seem to get done at all..how I wish I could just walk away from all these troubles..

Not mine to keep

What's not yours to keep, there is no point owning it with force..I have someone who I felt that he's not mine to keep and forcing him to be with me is really miserable..he's always so busy that he doesn't have even a second for me..well, guess he's busy with work, friends or perhaps someone else..I don't know..I am already not seeing him and I hope I'll continue to not see him and one day our relationship will eventually ends..also he doesn't call and seldom text me, it makes thing easier..this is the only way out for me..gonna get myself really busy with work and I guess the best thing of flying is enable me to meet new people and probably meet someone else and help to forget (*fingers cross*) =)

Being single is better than being with the wrong one

When I come to think about it, it seems like a man needs a woman more than a woman needs a man..what we woman needs is just a simple man who we can rely on, someone who can take care of us and someone who keeps their promises..but it's hard to find such man now..they want a girlfriend but never wanna be committed and never wanna be responsible..man is the most selfish creature on earth..all they want is to have fun fun fun and fun..they only think about themselves and put others feeling at the last especially someone they called "girlfriend"..I promise myself not to be these selfish creatures' dummy..I am capable enough to take care of myself and sometimes it's even better to be single as we don't have to go through heartbreaks over and over again, receiving empty promises..

Why do we ladies wanna put ourselves in such torturing situation..every time when you think about it you'll feel sad for yourself which I am feeling now..what the man doesn't know is that if such selfish acts keep repeating they are actually forcing us to not love them anymore..do you know that love fades??..I hope they know but even if they know they'll never bother..whatever it is I am actually used to being alone and I hope my job will keep me busy (which I believe it will) so that I won't have time for such nonsense.. =)

EVERYBODY'S WAITING TO SEE YOU BREAKDOWN, EVERYBODY'S WATCHING TO SEE THE FALLOUT, EVEN WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPING, KEEP YOU EYES OPEN~

AirAsia Flight Attendant Interview Process

Hey peeps, just to share a bit of my experience with y'all about the process and stages that you'll go through during AirAsia Flight Attendant Interview..especially for those who are going for this upcoming interview which in on the 26th April 2012..interview starts at 9am ya..remember to bring all documents that are needed..so here's how the interview goes:-

First of all when you reach there (AirAsia Academy) you'll need to queue up to get your original SPM certificate and IC check and then measurements of height and weight...after that the staff will verify all your documents that will be needed and you're given a number..there were approximately 300 hopeful candidates during my batch..

So here's how the first round starts..there will be 2 interviewers and 1 interviewee...you are required to do a short cat walk..don't panic!! just a really short one and then they'll ask you some questions about yourself..you're also required to read an announcement either in English or Bahasa Malaysia..

If you passed this round you're then ready to go for the 2nd round, the English test..there will be 40 MCQ and 3 essay questions but only choose one!! please don't do all 3, I know there were some candidates did all 3 essays @__@ ..save your time to double check you answers..

Next, the 3rd round (there were 56 candidates who made it through)..there will be 10 panels and each and everyone of us will need to walk out individually to do a brief introduction about ourselves and then a random question will be asked..what I mean by random is they will ask things like what's your favorite food, what's your favorite color and why??..if you are lucky enough you might get some more "sophisticated" questions..something about the CEO of AirAsia or perhaps Bill Gates and Steve Jobs..anyways, just make sure you answer confidently because they will judge the way you talk and the level of confidence I am sure..

If you passed the 3rd round, you'll then proceed to the final round with 2 interviewers and 1 interviewee (only 23 candidates made it this time)..this is the time when you need to convince them to hire you and show your passion towards the job..be sure to answer all the questions and never tell them you DON'T KNOW!!

After the final round, you'll ask to go home and wait for their call for medical check up..this will take about 1 to 2 weeks..just be patient you'll get your call!!..

So here's the tips, be sure to smile all the time from the moment you step foot into the hall!!..they sure love to see their future Flight Attendant with that big bright smile on their face..just have fun and the people won't eat you so dun get scared..they are all really nice people but sometimes we just need to accept the comments and critics with a big heart..remember never to get upset if you don't get through this time around..keep trying and never give up alright!! =)

All the best to the candidates this coming Thursday!!

Do you have what it takes to be a Flight Attendant's boyfriend?

You think you have what it takes to be a flight attendant’s boyfriend? Here are FEW things you have to put through. And that’s why they say these jet setters are the Top 3 Most Spoiled Girlfriends in the World. If you’re in a relationship with one: man, we give it up to you…. And If you’re planning to have one:

Be prepared, Be very very… prepared.

1. Do Not expect her to drive the car. She’s most not likely to have a driving license, she’d say “Babe, I only have a passport.”

2. Familiarize yourself with SKYPE, YM’s. VoIPs. She worships those amazing discoveries.

3. DO treat her like a princess before she can treat you like her king. Get ready for statements like “Buy me food, or else Ill break up with you!”

4. DO NOT be surprised if she wants you to take several shots of vaccines: Hepa B, Hepa A, Meningitis, Yellow Fever etc. etc.

5. Stay away when her roster comes out. That’s the next worse time to PMS.

6. BE grateful of her smile. You get it for free. IN the skies, it’s worth 6 digits.

7. BE READY to see yourself 5 to 10 years from now. She wants a man who knows his direction.

8. DO give importance to time, preferably Military time. 21:16 is NEVER the same as 21:17

9. DO NOT wake her up when she’s sleeping, even if you wonder “ she must be hungry after sleeping 18 hours already!” Again, LET her wake up by herself.

10. DO NOT mess with how she arranges her suitcase. Boots are for Boots sack, shampoos are for toilettries, undies are for undies bag and so on.

11. DO NOT expect her to remember names of your friends in one sitting.

12. DO NOT accuse her of bragging when she says she went to Paris for Coffee or just hit the gym in Berlin. She’s just plainly, innocently telling you a story.

13. Do not get intimidated by the beautiful men around him, chances are she’s already used to/sick of seeing hotness in form. Those men have lost their beauty.

14. DO NOT call her on the phone when she’s on Standby. DO NOT… ever.

15. Do NOT question why Half of the dresses in her closet has never been worn, and she still complains, she doesn’t have anymore.

16. Do Not remove any clothes you think is too much in his suitcase, remember: she has four sets of outfit in her suitcase: Spring, Summer, Autumn and Fall.

17. She expects you to learn how to read an Aviator watch.

18. And when she gives you that expensive Aviator watch, Do not Ask her: “ what time is it there in Khartoum?”

19. The next best gift to a Limited Louis Vuitton bag is a fancy Dual Time Watch.

20. She carries a First Aid Kit with her and 26 kinds of Supplements: Vit C,E,A,B, anti-Oxidants,
Gingko Biloba, Evening Primrose Oil, Horseradish Capsules, etc. etc. even those Pills (damn-those!) you request her to take everyday!

21. At least buy McDonalds before your holiday flight, she prefers it over aircraft food, and yes even over the caviars in first class cabin.

22. Understand that discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.

23. Make sure of the inaccuracy of your bathroom scale.

24. Remind her which country she is in first thing when she wakes up in the morning

25. During dinner, when she asks you whether you like chicken or beef… Oboohooy! you better think fast!

26. Begin to be scared when you oversee a long line in Immigration, she has zero tolerance on airport queues.

27. Work your muscle for a trip together, you’ll be carrying at least four baggages for her. A Gucci make-up bag, a Paul Smith, a World Traveller Trolley, and a Burberry Laptop bag at least for a Domestic Flight.

28. A bouquet of flowers is THE if not, THE ONLY way to say “I missed you” when you pick her up at the airport.

29. Prepare yourself for her jetlag, otherwise known as the PFS or the POST Flight Syndrome. You should be awake when she is and asleep when she is . You don’t want to see a whole 72 hours of tantrums.

30. And lastly, it might seem like she thinks she is overqualified for love. But DO remember that in reality, she feels like she is just an ordinary girl standing in front of a boy.

Article above by: ARLENE LEGASPI

Ego over love??

There is something that I seriously don't understand about girls and guys these days..they seem to be very confused about their own feelings..when you like someone why don't you just be straight forward letting the other person know that you wanna be with them?!..you started off being so close to each other and telling yourself that he or she is more than your friend but below lover..WTF!!..why do people wanna complicate their life so much as well as others?!!..was it ego or just you are not ready for a relationship? well, if it's ego why don't you try to put it away for a while and I believe guys should always make the first move..BE A GENTLEMAN!!..and if you are not ready for a relationship then just don't try starting one and leaving the other confused!!..tell if you want people to know and ask if you wanna know!!

♥ ~HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY~ ♥

Middle or side parting??

My front hair is at its most annoying state now..whenever I put to side parting the line just doesn't go to the side that I want..so I am now having middle parting..was planning to cut bangs or maybe just cut it short..IDK..so annoying!! @__@

Not considering the other half?

Who is the first person you think of whenever you're in trouble or have problems? Who comes to your mind first? Last 2 days I was so freaking lost around Shah Alam road.. I have never been this lost and scared.. My phone battery left 8%, car fuel left 2 bars, and worst of all my Google map wasn't working!!..I was driving around Shah Alam area trying to figure out how to get back home for almost an hour..I see no sign of petrol station, even if I do it's closed..I tried to follow the road signs but leads me to nowhere but to some really dark and quiet industrial area..at that very moment I was thinking to myself who should I call, who should I seek for help? no one comes to my mind..I know it's hard to ask for help and people are selfish..no matter how much a person tells you they love you..they would rather do their own thing at home or continue to hang out with their friends..no one will ever ask you if you need them to come over to look for you, to bring you back or whatsoever..the best is still being independent..anyways, my Google map ends up showing me some sympathy and start doing its job..I am so glad that I reached home safely and I found my way all by myself and of course with the help of Google map =)

THE AWKWARD MOMENT WHEN YOU THINK YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO SOMEONE, BUT YOU ARE NOT~

Dora's farewell =(

My DODO is leaving to Kuwait soon for cabin crew training..I am gonna miss you so freaking much >.< ..sobzzz..

















NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, WE'LL ALWAYS BE BESTIES..THAT'S A PROMISE!!